Thursday, December 30, 2004
[enc: special thankz note to sum important ppl included in dis entry]
yesterday woke up arnd 1pm... took a bath, ate 2 slice of bread n drank my tea den me, my mum n dad wen to johor.. we wen there by ambulance.. hahaha... style eh.. hehe... orite.. sumthin happen b4 we reached s'pore checkpoint at woodlands... there was a fight... i dun reali noe wat happen... wat i saw is dat there was dis uncle suddenly came out of his car n shoutin n cursing to a malaysian bus driver behind his car... den his son also came out n step fierce but he juz walk arnd n stare at d bus driver but didnt say anithin... we were juz beside them... since i was sittin at d back of d ambulance which was covered wif black tinted windows, i can see every reaction of them n their family member in d car without them noticing me... hahaha... ok.. den d uncle open d bus driver's door n still keep on arguing bout watever shit... so my dad's ambulance got dis electronic siren n horn like a police car haf unlike d other ambulance, he horn at d uncle to warn him b4 sumthin bad happen... so d uncle slam d bus's door n he n his son wen back to their car n wen d traffic light turn green they wen off... haha... cowards... hmmm... so after dat continue our journey to johor... wen shopping at komtar n giant... n it was like where ever we go, we will always end up in a traffic jam... haha... my dad decided to go home by tuas n on our way there it was jam also... hmm... so got home arnd 10pm... luckily theres time to watch inuyasha... hahaha...
2morrow gonna be d last day of 2004... haiz... lots of things happened during dis year... its d year when i first learn d feeling of true love... n also d year when my feelings were badly hurt n hearbroken... it all happened in d same year... so its quite a fucking year for me... but its still a lovely one... i can still remember all those sweet talk i had wif her... d most memorable outing wif her... which was going to ndp preview.... but it was all left behind as memories.... juz memories which can easily fade away.... so its juz me... only me going thru dis difficult life of 2004... i've change now... but still.. i am emo...
to my family n dear frens..
thankz to every1 whu haf let me hold on to them...
special thankz to...
.kak syeeqeen... u've help me d most during my darkest time... i knew i cudn't make it without ur help... thankz for all ur advice n encouraging words... u've reali changed me... love u lots sis...
.fiqa n fiza... u 2 haf been reali nice... thankz for being a great listener... i dun noe whu to share my probs wif if there wasnt d 2 of u... i appreciate wat u've done for me even though it wasn't dat much.... hmm.. we're reali like bro n sis rite... ;) love u gals...
n thankz to d others whu haf been part of d scene... for example aziela, ayu, hairi, jaz.... u guys r not forgotten... dis is juz d ppl dat i can mention at d moment... sori if u haf been part of my dark life but ur name is not mention here....
n also thankz to ppl whu had cheer me up...
yeah.. not forgettin syira...
u appeared back in my life at d ending of 2004 after we've lost contact at irc... dat was sooo long ago since we knew each other.... but we've never talk wen we meet in skool rite.. hahaha... so now we're back as each other's sidekick eh... haha... hope to noe u better n we'll keep in touch aite... aniway.. thankz to u too for atleast brighten a lil of my life... i love u too babe!! ;)
so dats bout it... i hope 2005 will be much better than wat had happened in 2004... i will try to live life to d fullest.... btw.. HaPPy NeW YeaR!
so its me again... signing off... fuck 2004!
yours truly,
[emo loner]
zulfadli
=========================
Good Charlotte - I Just Wanna Live
=========================
I need an alarm system in my house
So I know when people are
Creeping about
These people are
Freaking me out
It's getting hectic everywhere that I go
They won't leave me alone
There's things they all wanna know
I'm paranoid about the people I meet
Why are they talking to me
And why can't anyone see
I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x6]
I rock a
Lawsuit when I'm going to court
A white suit when I'm gettin' divorced
A black suit at the funeral home
And my birthday suit when I'm home alone
Talkin' on the phone
Got an interview
With the rolling stone
They're saying
"Now you're rich and
Now you're famous
And fake ass girls all know your names and
Lifestyles of the rich and famous
Was your first hit aren't you ashamed?"
Of the life [x2]
Of the life we're livin'
I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live
Stop your messin' around boy
Better think a your future
Better make some good plans boy
Said everyone of my teachers
Lookout
You better play it safe
You never know what hard times will come your way
We say
Where we're coming from
We've already seen
The wealth that this life can bring
Now we're expected everywhere that we go
All the things that they say
Yeah we already know
I just wanna live
Don't really care about the things that they say
Don't really care about what happens to me
Just wanna live [x3]
I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x3]
I just wanna live
Just wanna live [x3]
Don't really care about the things that they say
Just wanna live [x3]
Don't really care about what happens to me
I just wanna live...
=========================
zul, posted @ 11:44 PM
[ songs uploaded ]
.Alicia Keys
- If I Ain't Got You
- Karma
.Blink-182
- Down
- I Miss You
.Bowling For Soup
- 1985
- Emily
- Girl All The Bad Guys Want
.Keane
- Somewhere Only We Know
.Matchbook Romance
- Lovers & Liars
- My Eyes Burn
.Yellowcard
- Ocean Avenue
- Only One
zul, posted @ 2:57 AM
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
argh!!! im so fuck up wif dis pc!!!! i type an entry n suddenly my pc hang... haiz....
hmm... i customized my bag... i think im done wif it... check it out wen im using it to skool... ;) oh ya.. btw... i cant make outgoing calls n send msg!!!!! but i can only receive them... :_( my mum gonna let me use her line while she juz use her prepaid since theres not many ppl contact her... haiz...... now im juz using my prepaid for d moment... n im still using my line on my other hp so i can receive any msg n reply it using my prepaid... haiz... troublesome....
zul, posted @ 11:56 PM
Saturday, December 25, 2004
my eye is still itchy!!! argh!!!!!
aniway.. im gonna update bout d past days...
so on 24.12.04 wen to skool wif my mum arnd 9+ to buy my books for sec5... wen we reached, d queue was quite long so after bout 1hr+ den we got to buy d books.... total was $86+... but we were charged $88+... luckily i realised dat d auntie calculate wrongly wen were juz outside d office... so we wen back to d bookshop n had our change back... hmm... den got home.. my mum cook.. n i wen to sleep... hehe.. woke up arnd 3+ n wen online... at nite me, sis n mum wif my cuzzin family wen to wcp to chill out... we walk arnd n look at ppl only.. haha... den we wen to mcdonald to eat... i think im having phobia wen ever i go to mcdonald at wcp... i'll always get nervous..... sum ppl might noe y.... but luckily nothin happen.... phew~
25.12.04... woke up at 10+... watch tv after i took a shower... n channel 5 was showing dis cartoon titled "Joseph - King of Dreams".... d storyline was about d same wif "Joseph & The Technicolor Dreamcoat".... its only dat theres nothin bout a coat mentioned....
btw dis is for my malay pals... did u ppl noe dat d story of Joseph haf sum similarity wif d story of Nabi Yusuf? u can even see dat d name is a lil similar in d sound of saying their name... like Nabi Yusuf for Joseph... Nabi Ya'kub for Jacob... n Bunyamin for Benjamin.... i was quite amazed to noe bout dis wen my sis's guy told her after watching my skool's production at SP dat Joseph story is actuali d story of Nabi Yusuf... so juz now i read dis malay book titled "25 Rasul".... n i also found out dat d story of Nabi Adam & his wife, Hawa, is also similar to d story of Adam & Eve... hmm... dis is sooo interesting... :)
ok back to today's activity... wen to geylang... my auntie bought sum scarfs... n we bought sum karaoke vcd... hehe... i think my family is having a new tradition which is to sing at d wedding ceremony of relatives dat we wen... hahaha... it was fun actuali.... n i took d opportunity to overcome my feeling of nervous... ;) hmm... so wen home after dat... my cuzzin followed us home too coz we gonna haf karaoke session... haha... n i learned a new technique on how to control my voice... which is to look up wen i wanna shout so dat my throat can allow more of my voice to be projected out... n it reali works!! hehe... so 2morrow will be going to our relative's wedding.... maybe we will be singing again... hahaha....
zul, posted @ 11:54 AM
Friday, December 24, 2004
=================
Boxcar Racer - There Is
=================
this vacation's useless
these white pills aren't kind
i've given a lot of thought on this 13-hour drive
i missed the grinding concrete where we sat past 8 or 9
and slowly finished laughing in the glow of our headlights
i've given a lot of thought to the nights we use to have
the days have come and gone
our lives when but so fast
i faintly remember breathing on your bedroom floor
where i laid and told you but you sweared you loved me more
[chorus]
do you care if i don't know what to say
will you sleep tonight or will you think of me
will i shake this off pretend its all okay
that there someone out there who feels just like me
there is
those notes you wrote me
i've kept them all
i'll give a lot of thought of how to write you back this fall
with every single letter in every single word there
will be a hidden message about a boy that loves a girl
[repeat chorus 3x]
=================
zul, posted @ 1:47 AM
Thursday, December 23, 2004
my sore eye is getting a lil better now... maybe coz i haf been wearing my kinda new specs(but i actuali made it like 2 or 3 years ago) all dis while since my sis's bf borrowed my old specs (which i usuali use it at home only) to wear it during his practical motor license test... not bcoz my pc's monitor keep on winking at me eh... *smack syira* so now i got to wear my old specs n it feel a lil better.... haiz.....
any wanna go out wif me?? i actuali wanna look for a white marker for writing on fabric... i only noe a shop at bugis got sell it... but its so boring to go there juz to buy a marker n den go home.... so is there ani1 wanna go town n wan sum1 to come along? or is there sum1 willing to accompany me n den hmm.. how bout we go watch movie... preferable sum1 i noe... syira wanna go out wif me? hahaha... as if u wan.... rite...
hmm... im actuali thinking how its gonna be next year... theres gonna be no more e.o.a (elements of office administration) for me.... so there gonna be only 5 subjects left... but wat am i suppose to do? do i haf to take a new subject? dat will be hard for me to cope.... or will i juz be hanging arnd while my other classmates r having d&t or f&n or p.o.a?? haiz..... oh yuh.. i juz got to noe dat Feroz got promoted too... n Said also... so only 3 malay guys from my class including me got promoted.... but wat i noe is dat all i haf to do for next year is to concentrate more on my studies n hope to get sum good grades for my Os... n btw... my cuzzin is entering my skool next year.... haiz.... welcome to the club!! hahahaha.... so 2morrow i will accompany him n his mom to my skool.... if only i can wake up arnd 8am 2morrow... i mean today.... ;) hehe...
zul, posted @ 1:14 AM
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
ok dis is wat i remembered bout my n level grades...
english - 4
malay - 3
maths - 4
science (phy & chem) - 4
combined humanities - u
elements of office administration - 1
so today in d afternoon arnd 1+ amal n elmo came to my house... elmo registered for his ite course n den differ his ns while amal juz accompany him... so after they were done me n my sis wen to town... first we wen to far east to print out a collage as a present for my parents anniversary... den we wen to bugis to look for a bag for me to use it to skool.... i got a black bag n i plan to design d bag myself... so we wen to ps to get a spray paint... n on our way back to take a bus home, i found $5 while crossing in d middle of d traffic light... haha... its like i bought d spray paint for free.... hehe.... so wat i haf to do now is juz cut out stencils for d design n den i can start spraying.... hmm.. hope my design will be ok.... hehe... check out my bag wen d skool opens... ;) actuali im frustrated rite now... coz im having sore eye!!!!! my left eye is so itchy~!!!!! its red!!! n it looks like its gonna be swollen!!!! haiz........... gonna put eyemo now n den going to sleep... see ya!!
zul, posted @ 1:04 AM
Sunday, December 19, 2004
orite.. got my n level results.... im promoted to sec 5 for next year.... n guess wat... im d only guy among d "hooligans" whu got promoted.... d other guys r heading for ite next year.... gd luck guys! haiz.... but nvm... i still got my other frens from 4n1 like hairi, ajib, shaid, wan, fadhli.... im quite happy n also a lil frustrating coz of sum faces whu i dun wanna see wen im in skool.... *hint* black thing *hint* syira shud noe whu is dat... yeah... dats 1 of d faces.... haiz..... sumthin unexpected happened... she msg me to ask bout my result.... hmm... like wat fiqa n syira said.. i think she is still concerned bout me... but i dun think d way she care bout me now is still d same as how she used to... dis is all bcoz of dat BLACK THING a.k.a motha fucker!!! haiz.... k lah.. dats all for now... i tot of posting my grades here... but my result slip is in my parents room... n its lock i think.... maybe i'll post it another time... see ya! peace!!
zul, posted @ 1:54 AM
Wednesday, December 15, 2004
theres nothin to talk about actuali... hmm...
so sva is submited... i wan a cd version of dat movie... is cekgu gonna burn it to cd for us??
gonna get my n level result dis friday.... wish me luck.. is there a need to wear skool uniform??
I'M NOT OK!!!!!!
heres d lyric...
====================================
My Chemical Romance - I'm Not Okay (I Promise)
====================================
well if you wanted honesty
that's all you had to say
i never want to let you down or have you go
it's better off this way
for all the dirty looks
the photographs your boyfriend took
remember when you broke your foot
from jumping out the 2nd floor
i'm not okay, i'm not okay, i'm not okay
you wear me out
what will it take to show you that it's not the life
it seems
i've told you time and time again
you sing the words but
don't know what it means
to be a joke and look
another line without a hook
i held you close as we both shook
for the last time-take a good hard look
i'm not okay, i'm not okay, i'm not okay
you wear me out
forget about the dirty looks
the photographs your boyfriend took
you said you're read me like a book
but the pages are all torn and frayed
now i'm okay, i'm okay......
i'm okay now, i'm okay now,
well you really need to listen to me
because i'm telling you the truth
I mean this
i'm okay, trust me
i'm not okay, i'm not okay, i'm not okay
i'm not o-f***ing-kay.....
i'm not okay, i'm not okay
====================================
zul, posted @ 10:35 PM
Monday, December 13, 2004
at skool rite now... was browsing friendster n i saw dis bulletin.... wats stated is reali true... coz i've been thru dis.. so here it goes...
Wen a guy reali falls in love and becomes faithful to his beloved, his change in his character will reali shock every1 around him.. His egoist heart will uncompromisingly softens when he willingly gives his heart to the lady he falls in love with.. furthermore he'll be willing to sacrifice everythin and do anythin fer his loved one.. No matter how egoist he may be, tears will fall from his cheeks wen his heart's broken.. It's not easy to see guys who would truly cry fer their loved ones...~
20 signs to recognise the strong love a guy holds fer his beloved..
1. he willingly do anythin n everythin fer his beloved.. with sincerity not coercion
2. he constantly wans to humour his beloved and tends to be more talkative
3. he tends to advise his beloved more as he truly loves her and wans her to be a better person
4. he tries to restrict her freedom due to his overwhelmin jealousy
5. he constantly fears losin his beloved
6. he always monitors his beloved's movements as he feels insecure
7. he hates e idea of other guys bein close to his beloved
8. he becomes jealous and sensitive wen his beloved pays less attention to him
9. he becomes the most hardworking person n help his beloved to do anythin n everythin
10. he becomes restless wen his beloved's away fer too long
11. he cares fer his beloved more than he does himself
12. he constantly asks if his beloved loves him as he feels his love is greater than his beloved's
13. he would not be bothered wif other gals who dun hold any importance to him
14. he will try to spend a lot of time wif his beloved even tho he noes he'll end up waitin fer his beloved
15. he praises his beloved in front of others
16. if his beloved leaves him, he cant trust any other gal n wishes fer his beloved to come back to him
17. wen ther is a third party, he loses his mind and is willing to do anythin to fight fer his beloved
18. he makes sure he ensures her safety at all times
19. he is lyk a small kid who fights fer constant attention from his beloved
20. he treats his beloved as his most trusted one and willing to sacrifice all of his wealth and even his life fer her
~it's not easy to find guys who would shed their tears jus fer gals.. so pls treasure them....~
zul, posted @ 11:29 AM
orite.. heres d update... 8.12.04 wen for joseph cast n crew gathering at jp's seoul garden.... it was a fun reunion wif every1.. after d gathering me n my frens wen to catch a movie which is Christmas With Kranks at cineleisure... d show was funny... hmm... den we meet up wif nad n we wen to far east.. he was still looking for his accesories... but he didnt buy anything again... b4 we wen home we saw maia of s'pore idol...
9,10,11.12.04... back to sva editing... on 10th, after we've done wif editing we wen to jp to watch Shutter... its a great show... recommended.. but not for d weak hearted... so after d show we wen home... but it was raining so heavily... instead i follow hairi to send adlina home n she lend us umbrella.. 11th, only me from my group came for editing... its ok.. atleast i got some peace to do editing without ppl's disturbance... hmm... after i've done editing wen home... n later wen out wif my sis to buy a new cd burner.... so now i can start doing my business... hehe...
12.12.04, wake up early again... check my hp.. n guess wat... she send me her pic.... *melts* she is still d cutest n sweetest gal i've ever found.... haiz.... but wats her motive doing dis to me... y she still send me msgs n also a pic wen she said dat she dun wan us to contact animore... i wan d truth from u..... gif me d truth.... tell me if u reali wan me back.... im waiting.... sincerely... i'll forgive u.... u're juz making me miss u so much more.... :_(
so yesterday wen to my relative's wedding ceremony.. we r close to them so we stayed long there... me n my sis sang Dua Insan... again.. hahaha...
zul, posted @ 11:05 AM
Thursday, December 09, 2004
me n my dearest fiqa n fiza... dis is after d finale of joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat play at sp.... ;) while shahid sneeking at d back...
memberz of cast n crew for joseph.... we rock!!
im kinda tired n sleepy rite now... cant think properly... so i'll update bout d joseph cast n crew gathering(8.12.04) next time..... peace!
zul, posted @ 1:15 AM
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
im a lil dizzy rite now... since on d bus from town back home wif my sis... hmm... so today im quite tired.... 8 30am wen to skool to edit our sva movie... its very troublesome n quite a few of ok but actuali its not reali ok scene... got wat i mean?? so we did our best to do everything we can... hope dat it will turn out ok... hmmm... wen home arnd 4+... i had a quick rest n den off to town wif my sis... i bought d wallet chain for only $8 at far east... i tot of buying a wallet since d wallet im using rite now is quite dirty n i got it on my 13 bday... n did u noe dat my wallet haf been stolen in skool b4 but i got it back wen d skool cleaner found it in a dustbin.... dat was 2 years ago... haiz.... hmmm.... i wanna buy dat quiksilver jacket at pacific plaza!!!! its like merc harrington.... very nice!! we nearly bought it... but sadly i dun haf enuf money on d spot... i only haf arnd $84... while it cost $89... me n my sis wanna share money to buy it... so next time den.... hope its still in stock... so after dat we walk arnd town n window shopping.... theres dis guy saying behind our back... he said "they not like couple only...." wat d fuck seh!! u see a guy n a gal walking 2gether u will juz consider them as couple ar??? stupit!! say it straight infront of us if u think dat u r rite ar..... bodoh! hmmm... wat else... oh yah! wen we r going to far east, theres dis bmw making a turn near us n it accidentally hit d pavement n it's bumper is spoilt!! omg!!!! i wud b crying if d bmw is mine... haha... k lah... i wanna sleep now... 2morrow gonna meet up wif joseph cast n crew for thank u buffet lunch at seoul garden @ jurong point.... wat am i going to wear eh? hmmm....
zul, posted @ 11:53 PM
orite... see d time wen im updating dis?? yeah.. its 1am+.... so take note dat im not updating bout today(7.12.04)... here i go.... sva is going smoothly... we're done wif filming n so 2morrow i will b going to skool wif hairi to do editing.. last friday(4.12.04) filming at felicia's house was reali fun... her house was reali nice.. n mr ho got to learn a lil bit of driving!! woohooo~ gd job! for ur info he didnt haf a license.... opps~! hehe... so hmm.... juz now we film d scene in d office... den had our lunch... hehe.. i was like a real bro to fiqa... she ask me to pour sum soup to her rice n den open her a bottle of water... haha... so after dat we wen to esplanade for filming... at esplanade was funny!! hahahaha... cant stop laughing bout it.... its actuali bout nad... me n him wen to d shop to buy sumthin for d "happy family" to eat... den wen we reach d shop nad juz stand at d glass door n clap his hand expecting d door to automatically slide open by itself.... wahahahah~!! but there was actuali a normal door for entering.... den second thing was wen we wanna get out of d shop, nad wen to d left side of d shop n looking for d door while i was going to open d door which was actuali at d right side... wahahahaha~~~!!!! silly!! made me laugh all d way until d bridge!! hahahaha.... so after d filming, me, fahmy, hairi, nad n wan walk to penin... my foot r alreadi aching coz my slippers r like worn out.... i wan a new slippers!! we walk arnd penin... nad was looking for a cap.... there was alot but he didnt buy... den we wen to long john to eat.... we found a 4 seater table... but me, hairi n fahmy squeeze onto 2 seats... theres dis couple beside us whu alreadi finish their meal but they walk off wen we r about to finish our food.... haiz.... while we were eating, nad was cutting d fish wif d knife n it cut thru d styrofoam plate.... haha... like mr incredible!! den he play around n cut a hole on d plate, juz place it back on d plate n cover it wif chilli sauce so it wont look obvious... hahaha... we actuali plan dat wen d worker carry d plate to clean up d table, d part which haf been cut will be left on d table.... we finish our food n we run outside n look if it reali happen... but it didnt... hahaha!!! coz d part which haf been cut was sticking under d plate bcoz of d chilli sauce... nad lah!! he go n carry n put back d plate wen its alreadi ok.... hmmm.... so after dat we wen to orchard... follow nad to look for a book at kinokuniya... is d spelling rite?? hmm.... but he didnt buy any book also~ buat penat jer..... den we wen to far east... nad looking for cap, wallet chain n d glasses... everything was like items worn by taufik... walk around n wen to 77th streets... i tot of buying d wallet chain also *hint hint*... not bcoz i want to immitate taufik's style eh... i wanted to buy it long ago actuali.... den i saw dis billabong leather wallet.... nice seh~!! *hint hint* hmmm.... after walking arnd we wen home.... my sis cut my hair!! hahahahaha!! not like accidentally cut.... but cutting it nicely.... so my hair now is a lil shorter.... abit nicer lah.... den here i am using d pc... going to bed later... wake up at 7am.... going to skool for editing.... n i tot of going to town wif my sis after dat.... wanna go shopping!! haha... wat izzit actuali i wanna buy eh? hmm.... giodano jacket? wallet chain? LP/JZ cd? GC new album? wat else eh.... opps!! i haf to save money to share buy hp wif fiqa.... hahahaha.... hmm... see my budget first lah.... hehe... k lah... dats all for now... bubye~!!!
zul, posted @ 1:36 AM
Thursday, December 02, 2004
joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat is over!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! weeeeeeeeeee~~~ but now we haf to concentrate on our sva.... ok.. actuali im still sleepy rite now... wen for sva juz now.. meet up every1 at skool arnd 8am... proceed to comp lab n we check out our equiptments n d cast's wardrobe... next was filming... we wen to ayer rajah food court, back to skool to film the accident scene, proceed to d coffee shop opposite esso, den to ridzwan's house... the most funniest time was wen we were filming at ridzwan's house... hahaha... shud not tell wats so funny coz later got "sum1" scold me... hehehe.... btw.. i juz realise wheres d trolley after we left from d coffee shop?? hmm... shud find out 2morrow... yeah.. 2morrow will be filming at felicia's house... i've not been to her house b4 or even noe her but sum of my frens said her house was damn big n theres 3 cars.... n den maybe will b going down to arab street to film d family going shopping since we dun wan a modern scenery... so juz now i got home arnd 6+... luckily cikgu hidayah was going back to skool to send mr ho so i can haf a ride home too... den wen i got home i had a drink n sit at d hall... n i fell asleep.... till it was arnd 8.. i dun even haf d strength to watch double happiness... but aniway it was fun working wif all d crew n cast... n not to forget... its always funny!! hahaha...
zul, posted @ 10:59 PM
